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...
You know the title...don't you?
HURT
"Nostalgia Williams! Please rise and read your poem!"
Shakes head.
"Nostalgia...rise."
"Nnnnno!"
"Nostalgia, participation isn't optional. You HAVE to read the poem."
"Then why did you say please?"
"To be POLITE!!! Now PLEASE step to the front of the class and read your GALL DARNED POEM!!!" Dramatic finger point.
...
Flip page.
...
Hops off seat sadly. Walks to the front.
Reads:
" Hurt.
Everything hurts right now.
You say nasty things.
They hurt.
Yer a big stupid head.
I hate you.
Go away. "
Runs off to seat again.
"STOP RIGHT THERE NOSTALGIA!!!"
Stops.
"To the front of the class again, please." Point.
Walks back up.
...
Flip page, flip back.
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"Well wasn't that a precious poem?"
Class nods.
"Does anyone have any questions or comments for the author?"
Billions of hands go up.
...
Flip page, flip back.
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"You! Girl with the floppy bunny ears hat! Make a comment!"
Elsie: "My name is Elsie Maynard. I've been in your class for like a billion years already!"
"Elsie how many times do I have to explain myself to you. There are nearly a dozen of you. I can't learn all of your names can I? That would hurt my head. You'll just have to settle for being floppy bunny ears girl, like everyone else!"
Hangs head sadly. "Sorry Ma'am."
"As well you should be. Now make a comment."
"I forgot what I was gonna say!"
"No nap time for you!"
Slumps into seat sadly.
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Flip page, flip back.
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"You with the fire truck hat! Make a comment!"
"Your poem was sad."
"Um, thank you." Shrug.
"Do you give it any kudos!?"
"What's a kudos?" Head scratch.
"Detention!!!"
Slumps into seat.
...
Flip page, flip back.
...
"Next! You over there! In the rainbow suspenders! Ask a question!"
"How did you get the idea to write the poem?"
"I had to write a poem. So I wrote how I felt." Shrug.
"Who was it writ to?"
"I didn't say you could ask a second question!"
"Shaddap cunt!"
"Ms. Murphy. Get the soap and show Mr. Purple Suspenders here, the advantages of keeping one's mouth ivory clean."
Plucks him up by suspenders, and carries him off. Flipping the soap in the other hand.
Brendan: "BRENDAN!!! MY NAME IS BRENDAN!!! MY NAME IS BRENDAN!!!"
"Whatever you say, rainbow suspenders boy!" Giggle, giggle. "Anyway, who WAS it writ to?"
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Flip page, flip back.
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"Um, it was writ to the Dark Prince of Monster Land. He won't leave me alone. He stalks me day and night. Wants to marry me so he can do terrible things to me, and then eat me up crap me out."
"Excrete you out, dear. Don't be crude."
"Excrete me out, sorry."
"Why would he want to do that?"
"When he eats things and excretes them, they become soulless, yet adorable monsters. He likes to hug them."
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Flip page, flip back.
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"I see... I see. What a wonderful imagination you have! Positively amazing!"
"I s'pose. But the Dark Prince... he's real."
"No my dearest... he's just a figment of your imagination. Nothing more."
"No he's not. Or if he is, he's at least more real than you are."
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Flip page, flip back.
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"What are you talking about, dear? I'm as real your shiny red nose."
"I don't have a shiny red nose. I'm not a reindeer either. I just look like one, because I got bored and my mind drifted."
"Don't be silly if you're not a reindeer than, what are you doing here in reindeer school?"
"You don't GET IT, DO YOU!!!? He's COMING!!! And he's going to KILL us ALL!!!"
"I won't hear anymore of this nonsense Rudolph!"
"My name's not Rudolph! It's NOSTALGIA!!! Remember!? NOSTALGIA!!!"
"Nostalgia..."
"Why can't you remember anyone's names! You're not supposed to BE like this!!! You're SUPPOSED to be BETTER than this!!! You're SUPPOSED to PROTECT me!!!"
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Flip page, flip back.
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"Nostalgia, you're perfectly safe here. Just calm down. Nobody thinks you're a reindeer. You're imagination's just getting the better than you."
"But I AM a reindeer right now! Look I can even fly like one!" Flies overhead, and around the classroom.
"Nostalgia. Come down here this instant you can't fly!"
"Fine." Lands back in the front of the class. "But he's going to come, and he's going to kill me."
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Flip page, flip back.
...
"No one's going to hurt you Nostalgia. It's all in your head."
The ceiling is pealed off in the talons of a giant screeching terradactyl. Fire shoots down from mouth and nostrils.
Everyone burns.
"It's happening! It's happening!" Flies into the air. Shiny red nose, flashing across the sky.
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Flip page, flip back.
...
But the terradactyl is gaining. Faster and faster.
"No stop leave me alone!" Snatched up in it's giant talons.
Squeeze, blood and guts everywhere. Eyeballs pop out.
"Hello little reindeer." Face turns black. It's him. "I've got you now. All there is to do now is eat you up and excrete you out... we can wait to get married 'til you come out the other side."
Gobble, gobble, gobble... gobble, gobble, gobble...
Passes on through his twisted bowels. And comes out a malformed monster. Fuzzy and cute but with no soul to speak of.
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Flip page, flip back.
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"Now to get married!" Shouts. Wearing a tux now. "Get to it, preisty!"
"And now for the exchanging of vows! You first!" Points.
Stands before the Monster Priest's podium. Before the Dark Prince fiance of Monster Land. Before all the legion of monster wedding goers.
And reads:
" Hurt.
Everything hurts right now.
You say nasty things.
They hurt.
Yer a big stupid head.
I hate you.
Go away. "
...
Flip page, flip back.
...
Everything poofs out of existence. Back in the room. Leaves the poem on the table. Opens the window with antlers. And flies out. Shiny red nose flashes across the sky.
Lighter than a feather!
...
Ends.
...
For now...
Flip back.
